Stupid Hurts….trust me I know!

Late 2006 I decided I wanted to go home to Birmingham for Christmas, but I previously stated that I would only leave Orlando if it was under my own power. What can I say, I like a challenge.

So I spent the seven days covering the 660 miles between Orlando, Florida and Birmingham, Alabama on a mostly stock Motobecane Vent Noir road bike I purchased from www.BikesDIrect.com.

The page tells some of the highlights, challenges, and realizations I encountered along the way. There is also a map showing some of the places I stayed. I think this trip was a great warm up to my eventual goal of riding across country solo by one day bicycle.

Click Here For The Map.

. The StupidHurts Map Page!

Home For the Holidays

Well this is it. I am sitting in a restaurant getting ready to take off on my bicycle tour later on today. I can’t believe how excited I am right now.

Last night I recorded my first voice cast for Stupidhurts.org. It is a little short, but I think it serves as a decent introduction. Plus it may be amusing for those who have never had the chance to hear my accent before.

You are Going How far?

Orlando-Hernando

I decided to go ahead and make my first day a high mileage day. Probably not the best idea on earth, but then again neither is riding a bicycle 600 plus miles at once. Leaving Orlando there where a few things I really would not miss.

My originally planned route was going to take take me up state road 441 until I reached the south Georgia state lane. Unfortunately much of that road was still under construction and lacks a hard shoulder. So after a hour of worried if I was going to get mirror checked by a passing car I stopped to speak with the awesome people of Sun Cycle Center. One of the clerks there had made the same ride in the past and had a much more pleasant, but little somewhat longer route in mind. Instead of shooting for Ocala for the evening. I instead headed through Inverness and picked up a converted bicycle trail that runs to Dunnellon with will be a lot nicer since it is glass smooth and has no car traffic at all. Due to the change in plans it does mean I will be camping out tonight instead of staying with someone like I had originally planned. But considering that I have already bent my rear rim due to the crappy 441, I think smooth trails should be worth a few extra miles.

I had decided sometime after 2 that I was going to stop for lunch at the next place I saw. The fact I could feel my stomach around my back made it a priority. Sometime after 3 when I finally came to a place, I decided I could no longer afford to be picky, and I really should just take what I could get. I figured I could do worse than the Colonial Fairways Country Club. Surprisingly enough they actually served me. The food wasn’t half bad either. But I have to admit the best part of lunch was hearing an old lady say “hard penis” in reference to her husband and then realizing I was sitting across from her chuckling to myself after I made eye contact.

From there I continued westward until I got a little bit past highway 75 were I found a rarely used dirt road. Here I stopped for a bit and caught a nap on the side of the road. The miles had caught up with me quickly. It was also important I set up my tent at least once in the daylight first before attempting it at night. After a little sleep I was back in the saddle and eventually reached Inverness where I stopped to get one of my favorite performance enhancers CAFFEINE. Then I picked up the bicycle trail that runs north. The trail is perfect, it was scenic, well groomed, and really smooth. I was able to turn my headlight off and ride by the moonlight while listening to the sounds around me for a few miles. Once I passed Hernando on the bike trail I pitched my tent and called in a night.

Daily numbers
Miles:101
Average Speed: 13.6
Top speed: 27.4

Anti Drug ?

Sometimes simple Works To

Hernando-Archer.

The morning started off brutally cold I had a rough time getting my muscles to agree with me. This was odd because the previous night was just plain hot. Sometime in the middle of the night the temperature had dropped down to the mid 40’s and the high for the day was not expected to be any higher than 50 degrees. Well no point sitting in my tent all day freezing might as well get on my bike.

The next town I made it to I decided to try to find the library so I could check in with my fan club. I should have expected to be let down after it took asking eight different people to find someone who knew where the library was. After a bit of hunting I eventually made it to the library, but they didn’t have wireless internet.

Leaving there and returning to the bike trail, I came across one of the most impressive people I have met in a bit. When I caught up to Jerry he had been out riding for four days on a huge loop up to the Georgia-Florida State line. He was really encouraging to speak with. Before leaving he gave me lots of advice including a few roads to think about while I was out. The words he said that will stick with me are, “It does not matter when you get there, five minutes isn’t going to make a difference. Just get out there have fun. and eventually get where you are going.”

I got kinda discouraged fairly early on that day because I had been battling a 9 mph headwind since I started. I wasn’t able to get above 10 miles an hour for most of the morning. There was a spot on my route where Jerry told me I was going to get lost. Needless to say when the road I was on turned to dirt then grass, I couldn’t help but think to myself. Jerry is good.

Unfortunately a full day of battling headwinds took its toll on me, everything hurt at the end of the day. I could barely lift my leg over the bike to get off of it.

Dinner was the definite high note of the day. While passing through Archer I started to make note of food places. Nixing the suspect early on. When I found a gas station (the only gas station) I stopped and asked the clerk what my options where for food in town. She listed 3 places, 2 of which I had passed already. Since the only place left on the list was right across the street it won by default. When I got close enough to read the sign. It was a Mexican restaurant named “A Mexican Restaurant” proof it pays to keep things simple.

The day by the numbers
Miles: 63
Average Speed: 11.8 mph
Top Speed:21.8
Total:164.7

DOOOOOWWWNNN On The Suwanee River

Archer-Mayo

Fortunately today the temperature was up a few degrees over yesterday. After a slow start I managed to make my way Newberry, Florida. Even though their library was closed I was able to get online and fool around a bit since they had wireless access. From there I left and headed up to High Springs. That was the original stopping point I had in mind since yesterday but the headwind I been battling destroyed my time, and had taken a chunk out of me. After a short visit to Santa Fe Bicycle Outfitters I got to throw a leg over the KHS Flyte 320 which aside from slightly lower spec components than my bike was a pretty nice piece of machinery. At this point it had taken me about 3 some odd hours to cover twenty miles. Leaving High Spings it was really warm for the first time since I left and I was able to change back down to my shorts. My pace was a lot closer to my normal riding speed. Soon I was tearing along for the next two hours at 17-20 miles an hour. So I ended up knocking out 40 miles in 2 and a half hours, that was much better. Passing along several miles of the historic Suwanee river. Suwanee county turned out to be pretty awesome, there was a paved separate bike path that ran the entire length of the county.

In my haste to make good like, I almost forgot Jerry’s advice and almost missed what had to be the high point of my entire day. Some random woman riding a cruiser in the opposite direction, standing up on the pedals making pelvic thrust towards the handle bars.

Some how or another I also managed to warp the largest chain ring on the front of my bicycle. So I managed to waste a good hour of daylight adjusting my shifter so I wouldn’t have to listen to it rub, but I still have not decided if I am going to replace it or not yet.

In Mayo, Fla. I was also reminded why I much prefer small towns. I walked into the gas station and before I even said anything, “You aren’t from around here are you?” And before I left, I managed to hear two entire life stories, and all about someone’s brother in Jasper, Al.

The Tale Of The Tape
Miles:67.4 miles
Time to Complete: 4:45
Avg: 14.5
Max Speed: 22mph
Total:232.2

And The Saints Go Marching To All Saints Cafe

Mayo-Tallahassee

“I can’t find the road” was my first thought as I stuck my head out of my tent and looked around. Last night I had snuck onto a tree farm to find a place to camp. After a little wandering I did eventually find the road, and was once again under way. The first place I stopped at that morning had a display case full of fried chicken prepped already. As I was stepping up to the counter to get a few pieces, the clerk chose that exact moment to practice her Jedi skills on a large number of huge flies that were strafing her. I quickly changed my mind and got a soda instead. That proved to be a huge mistake. I wouldn’t pass a store for another 20 some odd miles that morning.

When I did finally reach a gas station somewhere outside of Eridu. (don’t bother looking for it, it isn’t on my map either) I stepped up to the counter with a can of Beefaroni. When I asked the clerk if there was a food place nearby? His response was less than encouraging, “Well Tallahassee is only 30 miles away.” hmmmmm I guess I will need two cans then.

This was the first stretch of my trip where there was literally nothing for long stretches at a time. This road just seemed desolate compared to some of the other roads I had traveled previously. State road 27 was an alternate route proposed by the person who helped me with my map at Sun City Cycles. Most A.C.A riders go up through Monticello which adds about 5-6 miles to the trip into Tallahassee. She told me she couldn’t remember why everyone went through Monticello, and that I should be fine running straight in on 27. Looking at my map I guessed it was just for the sake of a supply stop due to the lack of places between Mayo And Monticello.

Regrettably I was wrong. The reason the ACA says avoid 27 is that there are no shoulders on the road from Jefferson county until you get into Tallahassee city limits. I actually found myself off my bike an walking in the dirt for several miles just to avoid getting hit.

Even with that bit of excitement I did eventually make it into Tallahassee, Once in town I quickly called a Warmshowers.org member in an effort to line up a place to stay. I was given directions to All Saint’s Cafe near the FSU campus. this place was awesome. Grantedit was elbow to asshole crowded inside. With bikes hanging from the front awnings and a full bike rack and on the side.

My host for the evening was Danny. He rode an awesome looking fixed gear bike, and was full of great information about the city. He also promised tomorrow would start off with a tour of the town before I left.
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After a shower I felt like an entirely new person. I couldn’t wait to see what tomorrow held.

Reading back over this it sounds like the journey has been really easy so far. All in all it really has been. Riding long distances isn’t as much of a physical stretch as I thought it would be originally. The first few miles of the day seem to be just waiting for your body to warm up and work out the previous days kinks. But once you are warm and stretched the rest of the battle is almost entirely mental. The hardest part seemed to be maintaining the focus needed to keep riding, and to will to make it over the next hill and then the one after that, and then the hill after that. That has been tricky a few times. Luckily for me encouraging words and mental crutches have just been a phone call away.

While riding in Jefferson county my right knee went out and I didn’t get off to take care of it right away like I should have. I kept going and told myself “this hill is mine it will not win.” In the end that hill was mine, along with the few dozen others that came after it. Now I am walking with a severe limp in my right leg, It can’t really support weight right now. Since I refused to stop to tend to it earlier odds are I will be paying for it later, but right now I doesn’t matter I am still extremely happy. And most importantly I beat those hills.

The tale of the tape
Miles today: 85.77
Average speed:14.4
Top Speed: 31.3
Total Mileage: 318

Anyone See That Hour I Lost

Tallahassee–Cypress

I almost didn’t write about today. I really don’t want to think about it again. The combination of little sleep the previous night and fairly high mileage, combined with my first real day of hill climbing. Made for a morning that was much less than stellar. The first five miles of the day every muscle was screaming for me to quit. My knees trembled and I wondered if I was going to be able to continue. Eventually I did, but it took lots of coaxing

Somewhere during the course of the day one of my chain ring bolts broke. So eventually I have to find a bicycle shop and pick up a new set. If for no other reason than to get rid of the groaning from my bike every time I turned the pedals.

Chattahoochee, Florida was my favorite place of the day, city limits starts with a 600 some odd foot climb over the course of a half miles straight up a hill. Then you get maybe a mile of flat ground of town before you go down another hill straight down for about 3/4 of a mile before running into Victory bridge

Victory Bridge marked a great personal victory for me. It is closer to the actual halfway point of my trip and it also is the point where you cross into the Central time zone. I couldt help but be excited about the fact I will be back in Alabama before the end of the day tomorrow.

I stopped somewhere east of Cypress, I wouldn’t bother looking for Cypress on a map, the city limit signs straddle one intersection that doesn’t have a stop light and that’s it.

This was probably my least eventful day so far. Most of the day was spent with my head down convincing myself to push for one more mile, and every ten miles felt like a war with myself. When I finally turned over the 60th mile I just gave up. I think I was sleep before I unrolled my sleeping bag all the way.

Statistics
Miles for the day: 62.11
Average Speed: 12.6
Top Speed 34.6
Total; 381.1

Tire Trauma

Cypress Fl.-Brundidge, Al.

This morning got off to an awesome start. All the previous days injuries seemed to be gone and I fell into my pace fairly easily. My phone has been dead for a bit so that meant no music, but I was feeling really good so it didn’t matter.

During the first ten miles of my day I was pedaling along thinking to myself, “I have got this far with out a flat tire, amazing.” Unfortunately I must have said it out loud, because somewhere around the 25 five mile mark my rear tire went flat. To make matters worse it was less than a mile from the Alabama state line. Before I had time to get my back wheel off my bike and start swapping the tubes out. Someone stopped to offer me a ride up to the Dothan Wal-mart so I wouldn’t have to waste my spare. Honestly it made as much sense as any. So I crossed the state line in the back of a car, not exactly what I had in mind, but it was still early in the day and there is always time for adventure.

I made it to the Wal-mart and outside there was a squad of guys sitting in a roped off area assembling bikes for the Christmas rush. I talked to them about the area while I swapped my tube out. Truthfully I think my skills impressed them, because they offered me a job right then, traveling around the southeast build bicycles for Wal-mart. I declined because I had other goals right then.

From there I rode the 231 north for a while. But that presented several major issues. The first was there are long stretches of the 231 that don’t have any shoulder whatsoever, after someone in a van actually cut over and physically pushed me off the road I decided to walk till the shoulder restarted. I ended up walking nearly ten miles before I got a semi-ridable shoulder.
Also the shoulder on the 231 is textured with ripples that are about an inch deep. Riding over these on a road bike is just like riding a washing machine on spin with two cinder blocks and an angry Doberman inside of it.

Twenty miles later of constant jarring vibration and I wanted to die. Then I saw this shimmer up ahead. There was a 20 foot tall chrome chicken staring at me from the darkness. That was all I needed, I couldn’t be defeated by a simple road.

My bag now felt like a superhero cape, and the rain that had been following me for the past few miles suddenly didn’t mater. The road was mine to do with as I pleased. I felt awesome, I ended up pounding out a few more miles before the rain got to heavy for me to feel comfortable risking my computer.

The tale of the tape
Miles for the day: 72.9
Average Speed: 12.5
Top 30.5
Total: 454.1

I can’t See!!

Brundidge–Prattville

I was pretty sore most of the day yesterday. But I realized the slow days make the fast days possible, and I can’t go balls out every single day.

Luckily for most the day I had a generous tailwind from the south. At one point I was beating along at just a hair over 30 miles an hour. One of my favorite moments occurred when I saw a cop sitting over in the grass to my left, and I assumed he would ignore me since I was on a bicycle. Then I saw him raise his radar gun and shoot me. I know he shot me because as I blitzed past him I saw him staring at the display on the radar gun clearly baffled. I could not help but smile to myself about that one for the rest of the day.

Somewhere after the 50 mile mark I couldn’t get back onto my normal pace. I figured since I wasn’t going to get into a comfortable groove I might as well see how far I can go before I have to quit. I didn’t really think that one through very well, because at this point I had eaten most of my food and was nearly out of water from fending off several dogs earlier in the day. I realized this sometime after the 70 mile mark, but I decided to push ahead anyway. Things were going great until my headlight started to get dim. I quickly realized I could see less and less of the road. Then I noticed all of the lights around me were getting dim, and then I was having more and more problems keeping my bike on the road. Then after a few more miles I realized exactly what was happening. I was going blind. This had happened before once at a track meet when I was younger, so I knew what I had to do. I had to find food and water quickly. Luckily for me a MacDonald’s appeared soon and I was was able to rest and resupply. I would have hated to be taken out by a rookie mistake like that.

The Day In Numbers
Miles: 84
Average Speed: 11.8
Max: 33.7
Total Mileage: 538.1

Nothing Motivates Like Vultures on your Heels

I know I have been slacking off, but I think I earned an off day or two.

Mileage for the day: 72 miles
Average speed: 12 mph
Max Speed: 28 mph
Grand Total!! 610 miles

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