Stupid Hurts

Dec 23rd-Jan 2nd
So back on the 23rd of December I had a pretty bad seizure while riding my bicycle home in the middle of the night. It is nice to know my meds are working properly. I wasn’t lucid right after the seizure so I don’t really remember clearly what happened, I do know I couldn’t talk again, and it seemed like it would be a bit before I could again. So I just dialed my mom and handed my phone to a police officer. I had lost a lot of blood at that point so I went on to pass back out. Slept well to, I do have to get sleep when I can, insomnia can be a harsh mistress.

Yes I spent Christmas eve in the emergency room. It is not so bad really, I  spent my birthday in a different E.R. So two bags of saline and 11 stitches I was getting ready to leave. No I was in the E.R. because of a bicycle, and now I am being told that I came in without a bicycle. That’s not exactly the sort of thing a cyclist wants to hear, so a game of 20 questions later. I felt like I was talking to a brick wall. Actually that’s unfair to several to several brick walls in the city.

Considering the shape I was in, my sister called the local police dept. for me in an attempt to find bicycle.  They told her she would have to come down to the station to look at the report. This is where things took a turn for a weird. She got down there and the report said, “left his beyonce with hospital security.” My sister has a similar personality as mine, even more so when she is dealing what she perceives as stupidity. She goes on to ask the person person behind the counter would I really let any of you have my beyonce, and would I leave it anywhere. We went on to call everyone who had peeled me up off the side of the road or dealt with me in the hospital. To no real luck. I did learn from the police that an accident report and incident report  are two different things, and the police can be looking at one, and still will tell you that they don’t have the information you need if you ask for the other.

Later on that week I had a seizure and fell on my face. I ended up breaking all of the stitches in my face and found myself back in the hospital again. I realized several things, I have been to that particular  E.R. 8 times in 2008, not including the times I have snuck out and there are trips to the 3 other E.R’.s in the city, who knows how many trips I have total. This was my first time going to the E.R. under my own power and wasn’t really sure how the registration worked. Waiting rooms suck worse than the accident that got me in there in the first place. I learned one more important thing, after spending six hours waiting we got hungry, so I ordered a pizza. I found out that if you put in the E.R. address, my name and phone number come up. I am still trying to figure out if that is good or bad. I ended up with 16 stitches later and 8 hours later.

I was still looking for my bicycle as this point, and it was getting near New Years. I had gotten to the point we had found the patrol car and officer listed in the report and placed several calls asking for him in particular. Two days later, and a day after New Years my bike shows up in a place several people said it wasn’t and I had been several times looking for it. They also knew who I was when I walked in and were ready for me to take my bike and leave. Apparently I had stepped on a few feet over the course of the past few weeks looking for my stuff.

I also finally got all of the Pages edited. I also on the new maps put up in Tour de Stupidity page.

I have basically been home sick for the past four days, that is part of the reason there really hasn’t been much going on in my world or on the site lately. I did make it out to Food not Bombs to help cook and feed people. But most of the nights this week my arms have draped over my toilet while I lamented how much I hate my life. Luckily I feel much better now, and hopefully this will last a while.

One of the more useful things I got done this was to re-write my Tour de Stupidity. I had been putting it off for some time, but honesty it was pretty embarrassing. So I took the time to take care of grammatical errors, make it much clearer, and add pictures.

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“And here is you shirt, just try not to get shot.” Then Mike the other security guy grabbed his beer, got in his truck, and left me standing there looking lost.

Sunday night was my first night working security at night club called The Lakeview Yatch Club. I showed up for training, the head security guy walked me the bar area an introduced me to a few people. Then he promptly tossed me to the wolves.

For the most part the night was pretty quiet, but considering the fact this is Stupidhurts we all know there had to be some stupidity. My night got interesting when I got several complaints from patrons that a drunk, belligerent, individual had been harassing them. I figured it might be best to play it cool and watch him for a second since it was my first night and I really was a bit little unsure on how to handle the situation. Unfortunately while trying to figure out the best way to approach him, it was brought to my attention I had to go break up two people before a fight erupted. Apparently one of the customers had flicked the ashes from his cigarette into the face of the person he escorted there. So that of course became priority number one. I was able to get those two guys tossed out pretty and off our property quickly but not before the first guy had managed to cause a even larger scene.

At this point the kid gloves came of with him and his friend and it was time to be aggressive. So I stepped into his blind spot applied a gentle hammer lock onto his arm and grabbed his other shoulder and told him and his friend I needed him to leave while guiding them both to the door. He only argued for a second before I applied a little more pressure onto his shoulder, then he became very submissive. Once we all got out side I let go of him and he and his friend proceeded to walk away from the front door. Near the corner the patron I had grabbed then decided to turn around and yell and curse at me. At that same time, the bar back who weighs about 50 pounds more than me walked outside to smoke, and he obviously wasn’t in a good mood and ready to fight. I think that quieted things down pretty quickly.

I really wish that tossing out those two drunks had been the high point of my night, but that didn’t come until later when I was walking in the front door and something caught my eye, but my brain didn’t exactly register what I saw. I had made it all most all the way half way across the bar when it finally clicked. There was a guy standing next to the front door getting a blow job. I at least have the common courtesy to take that sort of thing to a restroom. So I had to go back and toss them out. Luckily they knew they were in the wrong and went with out much hassle.

Between tossing people out and flirting with the waitress, I had a great time working security. Plus I got a new shirt to add to the collection. Hopefully I will get to do it again sometime, and maybe next time without the wolves muttering to themselves about the fresh meat.

I need a SHORT break from the stupidity of this web site. So I will not be updating for a few days. My hands are shaking badly as I write this, it has been such a huge part of my life that I know I can’t let it go for very long, but I do need to let it got for a few weeks while I pull my life back together in Birmingham.

Thanks everyone for putting up with me and my crap.

My [tag]work[/tag] assignment today carried me down to [tag]Dothan[/tag], [tag]Alabama[/tag]. The last time I had been there was in december during the “Tour De Stupidity.” After we were done with our work in Dothan and headed back to the warehouse, we followed part of the route I took north to [tag]Montgomery[/tag]. For a moment it seemed like time in the truck cab sighed, and then swallowed me whole.

I watched the shoulder of the road get smaller and rougher. And a since of pride swelled up in me. The part of U.S. [tag]231[/tag] we were on was the mentally toughest day of my bicycle trip. Fighting fast traffic without a real shoulder and coping with my own near exhaustion has left me very close to the point of breaking. That was the day I spent an hour in lying in the grass staring at the sky till I was able to convince myself to get back on my [tag]bike[/tag] and fight for a few more miles.

I still feel like I know that bit of road almost intimately. It was like hugging an old girlfriend, and remembering how she liked to be touched. I was reminded how I fought with that road for a few miles at a time, and how it fought back to make me quit. After seeing the condition of the road it doesn’t even seem realistic that I made it home at all. I wonder if my [tag]determination[/tag] was really that blind at the time. Could I do it again if i had to?

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Then we passed the big metal chicken and I realized my legs hurt. Turned out I had been subconsciously flexing them and unflexing them the way I do when I pedal, for about the last 40 miles. Did a single stretch of road leave that big of mark on me?

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Today is my first day back at work after getting a half week [tag]vacation[/tag], and my team mates are already wanting me to go back home. Apparently most of my team has managed to clock in about 60 hours already this week, and we may be working the weekend. So seeing me come into work today daisy fresh irritated more than a few people. They also have been giving me grief for chuckling to myself every few minutes while working. I spent most of the week showing Sarah my [tag]Birmingham[/tag].[thumb:462:c] She has never been here before and was interested to see why I was so proud of the city. Plus she is going to be [tag]traveling[/tag] with me this summer to Italy, so we needed a chance to see if we could tolerate each other for a few days before attempting to travel together for a month solid . [thumb:456:c][thumb:457:c]

I had an awesome time showing her around town. We got a chance to visit a lot of my favorites places that I haven’t had an chance to visit in ages. She enjoyed the Birmingham [tag]Museum[/tag] of [tag]Art[/tag] and the place I go for coffee. We managed to crash an organ recital at the [tag]Alabama[/tag] [tag]Theater,[/tag] we were the youngest people there in a sea of gray hair and silver hair. [thumb:458:c]She got to see some of the other Museums and art installations around town. She also got to meet a surprising number of my friends since i needed them to bail me out since my car kept dying on me for various reasons.[thumb:460:c] I also ran into my mother who I haven’t seen in over a year while we were exiting a store.

Considering how much fun we had and silliness we got into, I really can’t wait till May and Italy get here.

And of course in an epic show of stupidity, never flirt with a girl at a funeral. There is always the chance that she was the last person to have dated the person whose funeral you are attending, Hmmm can you say inappropriate.