Stupid Hurts

I was told today that I seemed way too efficient for someone who has just gone through as many major events in a short period of time as I have . According to her I should be depressed and crying in a corner somewhere. She said I should not be trying to get furniture for my apartment, out running errands, or helping my friends with their issues. I tried to explain to her that I am extremely depressed, but I need to get stuff done more so than I need to hide in a corner and cry.

But there is my near total lack of catharsis. I don’t have a lot of ways to unwind really. Plus I have only been let out of the house once to see my friends since I have been back in Alabama, and I have been lectured several times for being on the telephone to often even though it is my personal cell phone. I now understand why tigers pace in their cages. I have been reading and doing push-ups to kill the time. I am up to 150+ push-ups for the day.

Fortunately I am a little closer to getting my bicycle back, so then I will be able to get out ride and relax some. Maybe even have some time to myself alone to think and clear my head. My mom also said she will loosen up on the whole “constant supervision thing” once I get my bicycle. She agreed to let me out during the day by myself.

I am sitting here on my knees in the wet sand. In my dirty hands is half of a turtle shell that I have been scooping the sand away for the past few minutes. The hole is getting bigger and soon I will start piling firewood into it. The sound of sizzling meat fills my senses as I am scraping the sand back. Sarah joins me and starts pulling and scraping the sand towards herself. I look at her and smile.
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We went camping near a lake last night. I had a great time sitting out in the woods listening to the animals the wind in the trees and our fire crackling nearby. Cooking various things over the open fire.
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StillWater has been pretty nice so far. Aside from hanging out near the first Sonics drive-in. and pedaling around town on a borrowed bicycle. I have had a chance to really just relax for the first time in several months. [thumb:528:c]