Stupid Hurts

John leans across the bar to say, “what do you call and bouncer at a gay bar?” “A flame thrower, get it?” I was more than a little surprised he had just told me that, but I was more busy trying to wrangle the angry under age girl out of the door.

It is easy to ignore where I work most of the time, but I do get savagely reminded every now and now then. I was stressed out, in a bad mood, and really busy. When I see a guy cleaning off his shoes. He told me that someone has pissed on him and gave me a description. I had a lot on my plate already and really didn’t want to handle that so I figured I would just tell John for telling me that stupid joke earlier.

Unfortunately when I got I to my destination I found my culprit still at his antics. I was going to ignore him because I still had several things to do, but as I was unlocking a door. He leans into me and said, “Sex me up!” He got way into my personal space, I also notice at this point his paints are around his knees. Suddenly I am not too busy to ignore that. I have to throw him out. I throw him to the cop that works with me and he gets a public indecency and a public intoxication.

So here I am sitting out side of the Caribou Coffee in The Edgewood Shopping plaza. When two guys try to sneak up behind me. I turn my look over my shoulder several times before making it a point to turn around once they began to invade what I consider my personal space. One asked me for my laptop
“Give me your laptop”
I laughed at them both and replied
“You better want it a lot more than me,” and then proceed to case it up and place it inside of my messenger bag, while continuing to chuckle to myself.
They both look surprised as I then got up and asked them “what else do they want.”

As they both nervously look at me and then at each other I noticed one start reaching around his back, I figure he should be my main target. I am hovering leaning forward ready to lunge, and while I hoped it didn’t get to that. I really kinda wanted it to, I can tell you to the day the last time I got to choke someone out legally.

They chatted between themselves for a bit and started posturing about how they just got out of jail and what not. I wanted to point out I used to get paid to hurt people, but I felt it wasn’t the best time to divulge that fact. I stepped forward to place myself in position to strike and one of them places his hands out and ask me not to do that I was making him nervous. Apparently they just wanted to talk at this point. I figured my stuff was mostly safe now and listened to what they had to say. They said how they were walking, and I pointed out I was on a bike, so I told them I would let them go, that only went to piss them off. They accused me of treating them like bitches, I agreed with them and made a deal. So I gave them some of the change in my pocket in an effort not to re-escalate the issue. They left and I decided to do the same before they returned with friends.