Stupid Hurts

Looking at my bike, it took the worse of it, but my eye is trying its best to swell shut.

I was leaving a store with Ben when we saw a group of messengers who knew me and told us about a bicycle race that was coming up in a few hours. The race was part of a benefit to raise money for a messenger who had been hit by a car and had his neck broken.  I think some people just need a small excuse to get drunk and some of us just need a small reason to race. Before the race had started some of the guys where already getting started drinking.

The race started with four people. There would have been five, but one of the guys popped both of his tires in the process of getting ready. (Probably a sign you need to stay home.) I was a little unfamiliar with Atlanta so I had a map drawn for me. We got moving and were holding a pretty fast pace. I didn’t feel really good and several times I thought about quitting, but I couldn’t just let myself quit. Somewhere shortly before the third stop I pulled out my manifest so I could check my map, and figure out where I was. I probably should have slowed to below twenty mph. I got hit by another bicyclist in the race who was going to cut through the parking lot I was in front of. I was moving fast enough to hit the ground and slid and have time to think “I hope I don’t slide into that curb.”  Once everything settled I was hoping I didn’t have a seizure on the side of the road, then I thought about my camera since it was in my bag. The other guy who crashed was one a brakeless fixed gear, so there were not a whole lot of moving parts. So once he got stretched out he was able to get moving again. We were both in first so I was hoping he would make, I found out he and someone else caught a flat tire later. So Ben won by default.

I picked up my bike, and was hoping to ride it to the next stop. It didn’t agree with me in the slightest bit. My bike looked like the back of a dress on prom night, There is no happy word it.  Even after adjusting the brakes and screwing with the drivetrain it was obviously not being pedaled anywhere. So I just threw it over my shoulder and started walking to the next stop. I stopped by a Krispy Kreme on the way when blood started getting into my eye, and I have learned people take their doughnuts pretty seriously in Atlanta, and you can get to the front of bathroom line pretty easily when you are dripping blood. It was swarming with people in the Krispy Kreme, and I had never seen someone sit down with the intention of eating an entire box of doughnuts. Apparently this is a fairly common thing.

The worst part of all of this, is the fact I spent a solid hour getting lectured by my dad about racing, crashing and hurting myself on my bicycle a few days ago.

I lean my weight forward and lock my heels together. Then listen to the back tire as it skids across the pavement.

I lock up the back tire and come sliding up perfectly to the line at the traffic light.  I was unneeded as usual, but, it was fun. I think showing off is probably the entire reason I ride a fixed gear sometimes really.

Then I hear my name being called.  Which is really surprising. Considering there are really only a handful people who should know me on sight.  Those people are mostly coffee shop rats and firefighters. Then I look around, and spotted in an ambulance two slots behind me Emt’s leaning out, waving, and calling my name. You gotta have friends I guess.

But I was struck right then. Do you really want to be on a first name basis with the local emergency response crew. And know that you are on that basis because of how many times they have cleaned you up, from bleeding out of random ditches.

I had a neurology appointment today. After the usual poking and prodding (I have lost ten pounds because of the drugs) I got to talk to my doctor and hear a phrase you never want to hear in medicine, ” uh-oh.” We were talking about the fact I am having seizures daily still after trying 4 medicines. Several of these medicines have been at the safest highest dose. And I am showing no real improvement at all, and in some areas I am actually getting worse.

He noted, that having tried this many drugs for little over a year now with basically no results, that it’s more likely than not I will continue to have seizures unless there is brain surgery. Truthfully there are two problems with that. The first is the fact no one actually knows whats wrongs with me, so I would rather them not melon balling my brain. It is the only one I have, plus I have put a lot of time into it. The second problem is the fact I don’t have insurance. Doctors don’t work for free typically, so even if they knew where to dig, I couldn’t pay them. So for now, they are trying a left field drug and anti-depressant.

After leaving the clinic I was heading to the coffee shop because I needed to see my friends. I kinda needed some reassurance at that point. Being alone probably wasn’t a good idea. Taking my usual route I woke up in the ditch with people standing over me which meant I’d had another seizure on my bike. One of these days I am going to break my laptop when I do that.

I was trying to explain the short term memory loss that accompanies seizures for someone and I couldn’t really put it into words for them effectively. Then last night I ended up with the perfect example.

I was out eat eating with friends and I stepped out for some air after I started to feel funny. After I stepped back into the restaurant and started back into my plate several Emt’s walked up to my table carrying turnout bags and asked if I was ok. I kinda looked up at them, and then look over to the people I was eating with, and asked “how long was I gone for?” Looking out the window I had to have been out for at least 5-6 minutes because there was a firetruck and an ambulance on the street. I didn’t remember passing out, but touching my cheek it was a little sore from hitting the ground.

I only recalled going outside, and coming back in. So having to explain the situation to Emt’s and convince them I was in my right mind was a bit of a challenge. I showed them my medic-alert bracelet which essentially says, “If I am not dead or bleeding I don’t need a ambulance,” and ad-libbed it from there

I would like to say it has been a slow news week and that’s why I haven’t updated the site, but honestly it hasn’t. Most of the time I have just been juggling more things than usual. Mostly lawyers, case workers, and medical issues right now.

Last night I walked into a bar where I used to work but I still drink for free so I could eat dinner and hang out for a bit and speak to a few people I knew. The owner saw me and asked me if I was working tonight. I looked at him with a raised eyebrow and pointed out the fact I don’t work there anymore. He looked at me unphased and asked if I wanted a new job. I had been trying to figure out how to repair my bicycles so I went ahead and took it.

Lets see how that goes.

Well, today I am helping mom getting prepared for Play-on con She found today that she is teaching a class on costuming in only a few hours. She is pretty exciting about it and, through that we were both offered work positions at Dragon*con. Looks like I get to go for free this year.

For the second time I had a seizure while diving into a swimming pool. I managed to get myself out of the water both times which is fortunate I guess.

While walking into the device support center for my cell phone I knew this was going to be interesting. Luckily our exchange was brief, but I could tell the agent was trying his best to stifle a smile the entire time as he handed me my a new phone.

Earlier that day I dropped my phone off for repair due to a short it had in when I made calls. Right after I walked out of the device support center, I remembered the video clip of a chick getting a Ecstasy pill shoved of her ass, a friend of mind sent me, and the very graphic drunk text I recently got, I recently got from an ex.

Seeing as they both goth transferred over to the new phone. I can only assumed at least the video got watched. This then reminded me of my associate who works at a local camera store who usually has awesome stories and copies of pictures he assumed people forgot they had on the roll.

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Speaking of which I made it a point to take a few minutes to get out and take a few pictures. This is the second time I have gotten out to shoot recently, but I lost the entire first batch because my ISO settings where incorrect for the lighting conditions. I think once I get back into the habit of shooting on a regular basis I will be less likely to make such a simple mistake.

Wow! I haven’t had a seizure in several days. Even after several things got me really aggravated today. I was able to take a moment, compose myself, and carry on. In the grand scheme that’s a really big thing,compared to not too long ago when I was having two seizures a day. Most people say I have been in a better mood recently but I think thats kinda hard to say.

Next week I have a Dr’s appointment and they are talking experimental drugs. to curb the seizures all together, we will see where that goes.

Wednesday was the weekly meeting of “Food not Bombs” to cook and feed people in Little Five Points. I try to help them when I can. Our personal ideology is a little different so I make it a point to learn from them as much as possible. It is also nice to be able to help out a decent cause thats helping out where others groups aren’t. Plus they work amazingly hard to make things happen. And I love the guys in the local group who work week after week to feed these people.
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Recently one of the stores they were getting donations from got a new produce manager and started refusing to help on the grounds they believed we were keeping the food just to eat instead of feeding others with it. So I was asked to take pictures this time. I have several from past weeks as well, so it will be nice to have a contrast to show them how big it has gotten.
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We spent several hours preparing dishes before heading out to pass out food. The food was well received, and went extremely quickly. Everyone was glad to see us come and liked everything we had to offer. For some reason there does seem to be a social stigma associated with accepting a free lunch for some people, so some seem insulted when we offer them food, but all in all things went really smoothly.
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Leaving “Food not Bombs” I ran into Rafael and several other of my friends practicing bicycle tricks in a parking lot where I was coerced into shooting a few more pictures. Luckily it was perfect lighting conditions for tracking shots. So he got in his zone and rode out a few leg over skids while I shot. I really enjoy the amount of movement that’s shown in some of these shots.
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Lots more can be found in the gallery here.
The Stupidhurts Gallery

I just finished this piece recently and I relived to be done working on it. Mostly because I had a lot of little pieces of paper floating around I that I really didn’t want to lose or recut.
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The diagrams for the piece came from the book “Pop-Up Geometric Origami by Masahiro Chatani and Keiko Nakazawa”
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It took me a while to finish it, because I was juggling several over projects at the same time.
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It folds completely flat, and usually wows people the first time they see it.

and here is a youtube video someone made of it opening and closing one they made.

My uncle chose fairly late in the day to tell me he didn’t have anything for me to do so I essentially had a free day for a change. I believe this ruins my weekend plans. But I really shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. I had felt cooped up lately and wanted to get out, several people had done little for my patience, and this would be my first time to get out and actually ride my bike hard in several weeks. So I made it a point to try and enjoy myself.
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The highlights included the fact I now have a new useless skill. I got called out over the fact I had never ever bother learning how to do “leg over the bar” skids. Which is odd, because I had taught one of the people at the shop I hang out at how to do them. My usual excuse was the fact I ride with bullhorns on my bike, but that wasn’t enough to get me by tonight. So I finally got up and pulled out a few. After learning you are pretty much guaranteed to get your pants leg caught between the bars and your hands if you are wearing wide leg jeans. I revised my strategy and got pretty decent at them fairly quickly. Only later on to hear,“isn’t that hard with bullhorns?” I also proved the fact I can sorta ride in a backwards circle. I just don’t because it is a bicycle and it goes forward.
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I also got to watch a bunch of what I am hoping were drunk cyclist play “Lean on me” in a studio. If they were not drunk, they may have been the back up band. But they are good cyclist, and they did call to check up me while I was in the hospital. I left after getting a phone call from Ben,“ we are in the fountain in Woodruff park!” There is a reason I hang out with him.

And on my way home after splitting up with everyone, I fell down a flight stairs I didn’t see while riding my bicycle.The killing part is that everyone else was drinking and I was sober. The take off wasn’t so bad, but the landing sorta screwed my ankle up.