Stupid Hurts

First off, I have made some massive upgrades to my gallery. I am really excited and happy about that. Plus there are a lot of new pictures in several of the galleries.

So I got this call from Apple saying my computer was done in the middle of the week, but I haven’t had any free time until this weekend. Which meant another expedition into Seattle proper. This time Jake went with me.

We decided to take public transportation, because it is nearly $30.00 to take a car on the ferry, but about $12.00 for us to walk on and then $5.00 total for the bus. Plus life is a bit more interesting when you get out in the world and live.

So we rode the ferry from Bainbridge to Seattle. We were sitting on the sun deck and enjoying the weather, when I noticed this girl who wasn’t remotely dressed for the weather. So I asked her; “Were are you from, you are really over dressed compared to locals?” She responded with,”Germany.” So we talked for the rest of the boat trip about all of our travels around the globe. She told us about her stays in the U.S. and South America. Jake talked  about Asia and South America. And I talked about the U.S. and Europe. We all had travels in common. It was only after talking about traveling for 15 minutes did we find out her name was Ana. Travelers always seem to hit it off pretty quickly.

The boat landed a bit later and she decided to come with us for a cup coffee and then walk around downtown Seattle for a bit.

I suggested the International District sense there was a picture I wanted.

So we meandered over that way. After getting us lost in King station I got the picture I wanted.

I got it.

Then we got our drinks before spending the next few hours walking around downtown.

Eventually, we went our separate ways. Jake and I went and got my computer back and caught the ferry back across the water. Before leaving I noticed the lighting was perfect over the bay and got a few more pictures of the city.

John leans across the bar to say, “what do you call and bouncer at a gay bar?” “A flame thrower, get it?” I was more than a little surprised he had just told me that, but I was more busy trying to wrangle the angry under age girl out of the door.

It is easy to ignore where I work most of the time, but I do get savagely reminded every now and now then. I was stressed out, in a bad mood, and really busy. When I see a guy cleaning off his shoes. He told me that someone has pissed on him and gave me a description. I had a lot on my plate already and really didn’t want to handle that so I figured I would just tell John for telling me that stupid joke earlier.

Unfortunately when I got I to my destination I found my culprit still at his antics. I was going to ignore him because I still had several things to do, but as I was unlocking a door. He leans into me and said, “Sex me up!” He got way into my personal space, I also notice at this point his paints are around his knees. Suddenly I am not too busy to ignore that. I have to throw him out. I throw him to the cop that works with me and he gets a public indecency and a public intoxication.

I was talking to Sarah a few nights ago and I pointed out the fact that it has been a year since I started having seizures, and ended up in the hospital. We also came to the conclusion it has been a pretty long year and me getting sick was a catalyst for a hell of a lot things at once. Unfortunately or fortunately, I haven’t really figured out which yet, every time I tried to properly feel sorry for myself I ended up having to deal with some new issue. I keep getting told hold I am handling my issues really well. I’m not really, I just don’t talk about it too much.

I also realized last night that I have been to the Emergency room enough times in a short enough of time span to lose count. Scary no? I know I have been more than 6 times since I got to Atlanta, and more than 6 times before I left Birmingham. I don’t always blog about it, sometimes I walk out, or they happen so close together; (like on my birthday ,and the day before when I went to two different E.R’s). My real thought is if everyone knew how often I crashed, I doubt they would continue to allow me my personal privacy or freedom. It is only the last time where I near destroyed my fixed gear and got hurt that I was really forced to cut back.

Lastly I was told recently “When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Usually, that individual is crazy. ” Considering I have been commended for my ability to take control of situations when things get out of control, and I have also had three separate doctors recommend therapy or a psychologist. Maybe there is a connection.

First off I got a comment from cyclist Corey Keizer over at 15rides.blogspot.com
He is doing a lot to raise awareness for cyclist rights. It means something to me since any night while doing volunteer work I found out I can ask the crowd, “Who here has been hit by a car?” And alway get an affirmative answer from someone, sometimes several someones.

That being said. With my birthday coming up I either want a jersey from his site in a medium. Or a right hand 105 9 speed shifter so I can fix my road bike. Kills me having a broken bicycle I can’t fix, and it isn’t the sort of part people just leave lying around.

So since I have gotten here to Atlanta my seizures have gotten a lot worse. In both severity and frequency. Mostly is has to do with the amount of stress I have put myself under without appropriate amounts of release. Basically I have run non-stop since I have gotten here. Constant projects and commitments and what not. For someone who isn’t getting paid to do anything, I was sweating a lot of deadlines last weekend. I have just as many this week, but I have made it a point to accept a few less projects.

I still intend to attend Food not Bombs next week, The Public art bike tour on the 6th , and allegedly there is a bike race on the 12th at octane that no one seems to know about. I had to drop the hand made vendor fair and a few other things on my plate unfortunately.

So I just scheduled to return home to Birmingham to spend 2-5 days in the hospital being monitored and hooked up to machines on the 22nd. They are making me find people to stay with me the entire time I am there to push a button in case I pass out since they are taking me off my medicine, and that almost guarantees withdrawal seizures.

So here I am sitting out side of the Caribou Coffee in The Edgewood Shopping plaza. When two guys try to sneak up behind me. I turn my look over my shoulder several times before making it a point to turn around once they began to invade what I consider my personal space. One asked me for my laptop
“Give me your laptop”
I laughed at them both and replied
“You better want it a lot more than me,” and then proceed to case it up and place it inside of my messenger bag, while continuing to chuckle to myself.
They both look surprised as I then got up and asked them “what else do they want.”

As they both nervously look at me and then at each other I noticed one start reaching around his back, I figure he should be my main target. I am hovering leaning forward ready to lunge, and while I hoped it didn’t get to that. I really kinda wanted it to, I can tell you to the day the last time I got to choke someone out legally.

They chatted between themselves for a bit and started posturing about how they just got out of jail and what not. I wanted to point out I used to get paid to hurt people, but I felt it wasn’t the best time to divulge that fact. I stepped forward to place myself in position to strike and one of them places his hands out and ask me not to do that I was making him nervous. Apparently they just wanted to talk at this point. I figured my stuff was mostly safe now and listened to what they had to say. They said how they were walking, and I pointed out I was on a bike, so I told them I would let them go, that only went to piss them off. They accused me of treating them like bitches, I agreed with them and made a deal. So I gave them some of the change in my pocket in an effort not to re-escalate the issue. They left and I decided to do the same before they returned with friends.

Note of warning I am taking down and re-uploading the Stupidhurts Gallery tonight. A lot of pictures will not be coming back.
This is going to make life interesting since my Blog and gallery and mated together. It means either a lot of post will be missing pictures or some will just be wrong. I may go back manually add them later.

Due to the level of corruption in my gallery. This is a much needed move.

That is all

I woke up to stagger to the bathroom, on the way I realized I felt a lot worse than when I went to sleep. My mouth really hurt, so I look at my tongue in the mirror and notice it has been chewed up. There is nothing like that initial moment of realization, “I just had another [tag]seizure[/tag].”

Fortunately I was in bed lying down this time so I didn’t fall or get [tag]hurt[/tag]. The only thing I really remember is the first convulsion and waking up several hours later.

Lately I have lost several truly [tag]epic[/tag] [tag]blog[/tag] [tag]entries[/tag] or they have been a lot less than detailed than I would have liked, because they were not committed to paper fast enough. Usually what goes into the creation of a good blog post is; something interesting happens, then I replay the events back in my head several times, it helps if I have pictures because I edit them at this point, then I usually walk back and forth and tell the story out loud to develop a pace. Some of the post on this site you can tell were originally developed to be told in person. If you have ever had the good fortune to hear me tell the “Frozen toy story” it sounds well practiced because it really is. Lastly once I am satisfied that I write a rough draft and edit it once or twice before uploading it, unfortunately even then sometimes I miss errors.

Recently I have been trying to use this same method of writing and either I get frustrated because I can’t recall enough detail from the event to satisfy me, or I end up aggravated because I keep finding huge grammatical errors. I think I am going to have to mix up my writing style some and start committing things to notebook before I type them up and try to develop my pacing from that. I hate doing that due to the amount of work involved but it has worked in the past, and hopefully it will lend to something more akin to previous levels of quality.

I make it a point to keep a notebook with me. I think I am going to start making notes for blog post more and more often now.

At one point in time the strength of my blog was the fact that I wrote exactly the way I spoke, and I was able to colorfully communicate a scene. I actually had to make it a point to edit a paragraph as little a possible.

I have noticed the voice in my writing has changed a lot but then even my general tone and speech pattern has changed and i have to edit the crap out of everything I write. I tend to drop subjects and lose my place mid sentence sometimes. I am really curious if I do that when talking to people because I know I do it in emails and when instant messaging. And I am really curious if people assume I am on drugs or not.