Stupid Hurts

I had a neurology appointment today. After the usual poking and prodding (I have lost ten pounds because of the drugs) I got to talk to my doctor and hear a phrase you never want to hear in medicine, ” uh-oh.” We were talking about the fact I am having seizures daily still after trying 4 medicines. Several of these medicines have been at the safest highest dose. And I am showing no real improvement at all, and in some areas I am actually getting worse.

He noted, that having tried this many drugs for little over a year now with basically no results, that it’s more likely than not I will continue to have seizures unless there is brain surgery. Truthfully there are two problems with that. The first is the fact no one actually knows whats wrongs with me, so I would rather them not melon balling my brain. It is the only one I have, plus I have put a lot of time into it. The second problem is the fact I don’t have insurance. Doctors don’t work for free typically, so even if they knew where to dig, I couldn’t pay them. So for now, they are trying a left field drug and anti-depressant.

After leaving the clinic I was heading to the coffee shop because I needed to see my friends. I kinda needed some reassurance at that point. Being alone probably wasn’t a good idea. Taking my usual route I woke up in the ditch with people standing over me which meant I’d had another seizure on my bike. One of these days I am going to break my laptop when I do that.