Stupid Hurts

The ironic thing is that I was bitching that my week was boring earlier. Actually I have meant to update my website several times this week, but from about tuesday up till now things kept coming up. SInce now I am lying in bed and the morphine is wearing off, it seems like the perfect time to blog.

Friday evening I had just sat down in front my computer getting home from a party I went to basically on Wednesday, when I got a phone call and an email at the same time telling me that the Critical Mass for the month starting in thirty minutes. It seemed like my presence was requested. Since I had been off my bicycle for the few days previously I was pretty excited to get out and ride with a group. About 20 people met in Linn park, and we had a really interesting mix of cyclist, few mountain bikes, few fixed gears even a tandem.
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The highlight was getting to see the couple on the tandem do a trackstand at a traffic light. We rode around downtown Birmingham for about an hour before the group split up and some people went home leaving the more hardcore guys to rode hard and climb hills. That lead to Jp inviting me to go inter tubing with him and a group of people on the Cahaba river the next day.
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So Saturday morning found several car loads of people lost in rural Alabama. Apparently the Google directions are very, very wrong. We should have been clued in when they used a cow as a reference point. Eventually we did make it to the river and get every situated. Considering how far out we were and the fact I really didn’t want to bothered by the outside world. I left all my electronics at home and in the car. It is a shame in retrospect. We saw a lot of really cool wildlife. There were lots of fish in the river with us, several people got bit by turtles, and we saw an armadillo waddle by at one point. The part that amazed everyone was when ten cows ran and swam through the river in front of us. Two of the guys got close enough to touch them. I had enough cow from where I was so neglected. Now this next part is a plot device. Someone was curious how deep the river was. So I offered to dive down to the bottom. I hand my glasses to a guy name Fred and dive down. I determine it is a little over 15 feet down and then come back up. When I ask Fred for my glasses back, he didn’t have them. He said that he sat them in his lap and he thought they would float, but they didn’t. We tried to look for them, but it was deep dark moving water. So I am now out of a pair of glasses until further notice. No big thing, I didn’t need them to float in the water, and I had my contact lenses at home. So we floated and drove home without further incident, and honestly between the rope swing and diving off a 25-30 foot platform into the river I had a great time. Now on the way back Jp talked me into going on the bicycle ride the “Tour the Cahaba” with him because he needed moral support. Originally I wasn’t going to go, Mostly because of the 7:00 am start time, and the fact that of the 60 mile route 40 miles was uphill.
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Now it was 3:00 am on Saturday night and I remembered telling the lie “I have to go home early tonight because I have an early start tomorrow.” When I was up at 5:45 servicing my bicycling I was cursing several names and hoping more than mildly that Jp would back out so I could go back to bed. We he didn’t and I didn’t. So we met up and got started. The route was planned for 60 miles and like I said 40 miles of climbing, so of those hills were steep. There were several groups riding and normally I riding with the fast group, but I rode with the medium group because this was Jp’s first long ride and my first long one in a couple of months. Our group was something around 60 people. It is still always amazing to see and hear that many bicycles riding in close formation. The group all stayed pretty close together the first 20 miles from Homewood to the Summit. I found out here Jp and I were about the middle of the “B“ group with about 17 mph and the ”A“ group was pacelining and averaging 30 plus mph the entire time. The next leg took us down to Pehlam.
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I got shortly when I dropped my keys and had to go back for them and then had to catch back up. I caught up with a different group than I was riding with and they were riding at a faster pace than the last one. The sun was also coming out at the point to. I make it to Pehlam high in the ”B” group somewhere around the 45 mile mark and I was pacing 14 mph there had been lots of hills and these had done a big job of splitting the groups up. I pulled off my jersey while waiting for Jp and realized I had a truckers tan. The next leg was Trussville. That leg hurt. It was all uphill and we got missed our turn and had to re-climb several hills. Jp and I got really separated so I went ahead and rode with a group that was riding my pace. It seemed like at the top of every hill there was another hill. The Trussvile stop was golden for several people I was out water and I had to pee really badly, And there was a train coming.I could see the Trussville stop, so I just put my head down and went for it a little bit after the gates dropped. Luckily I made it with time to spare. I thought I was way behind the “B” group for some reason since I was lost several times. Apparently I was following the route better than most and still just in front of them, but there was another group that took a shorter route and was just in front. Also at this stop a guy was pulling in and dropped a water bottle and some how it bounced up and into his rear wheel breaking a few spokes and pulling out spoke holes destroying the wheel. He got a loaner wheel and got to finish. Then another guy pulling into this stop dodging a pot hole, ran into the curb head on and flipped of his bike. Wasn’t pretty from I hear. He bent his fork and broke the head tube on bike. That means new frame, but he did finish ride once he replaced the wheel. At the point I was at 58 miles already and ready to be back to Homewood. So I chose a fast group and left with them. From what I understood the route back was mostly flat and fast, with a technical parts. We set out and were hauling balls. Our average speed was 22-25 miles and hour through the neighborhoods. It had been a long day at this point. We hit Highway 78 in Irondale and since we have a long straight section we decide to setup a paceline. We do that for a few miles and then we are averaging 30 mph for a bit and we chew up a good bit of highway 78. And you remember that plot device I was talking about. I was riding in contact lenses all day. At 30 mph they dried out and one blew out.

Don’t know what I hit, but I crashed face first at 30 mph in the middle of the highway. I was a mess. It took three water bottles before we stop tried to get me to stop bleeding and we realized I was bleeding from the mouth to. I was ready to finish the ride until I realized my bike was unridable, my day was pretty much done.
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We had the sag wagon come get me and load up my bicycle and take me back to the bike shop in Homewood. While cleaning myself up I started with arms, they were easy, it was when I got to my face and I realized the hole in my lip was about half a inch wide a 1/8 of a inch deep and I could feel it inside of my mouth with my tongue.
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I should probably go to the hospital. They ended up giving me a lot of stitches across my lips and recommended a plastic surgeon. I also have lots of Vicoden. I am not sure what condition the bike is in, I am hoping for the best, but I am sure it is bad. Considering that my left eye was swollen shut and I missing a lot of skin, looking for the sun glasses seemed kinda pointless.