Stupid Hurts

I was talking to Sarah a few nights ago and I pointed out the fact that it has been a year since I started having seizures, and ended up in the hospital. We also came to the conclusion it has been a pretty long year and me getting sick was a catalyst for a hell of a lot things at once. Unfortunately or fortunately, I haven’t really figured out which yet, every time I tried to properly feel sorry for myself I ended up having to deal with some new issue. I keep getting told hold I am handling my issues really well. I’m not really, I just don’t talk about it too much.

I also realized last night that I have been to the Emergency room enough times in a short enough of time span to lose count. Scary no? I know I have been more than 6 times since I got to Atlanta, and more than 6 times before I left Birmingham. I don’t always blog about it, sometimes I walk out, or they happen so close together; (like on my birthday ,and the day before when I went to two different E.R’s). My real thought is if everyone knew how often I crashed, I doubt they would continue to allow me my personal privacy or freedom. It is only the last time where I near destroyed my fixed gear and got hurt that I was really forced to cut back.

Lastly I was told recently “When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Usually, that individual is crazy. ” Considering I have been commended for my ability to take control of situations when things get out of control, and I have also had three separate doctors recommend therapy or a psychologist. Maybe there is a connection.