Stupid Hurts

The legendary frozen [tag]toy[/tag] story.

This event actually occurred several years ago and I have been meaning to type it up for a long time now.

So I have this friend who is a mechanical [tag]genius.[/tag] If I need something drawn out, blown up, or burned down, he is generally the person to call. Unfortunately no matter how smart he may be, he does some amazingly [tag]stupid[/tag] things sometimes.

Once a while back he was at home in the middle of the day [tag]baking[/tag] chocolate chip [tag]cookies[/tag] as a surprise for his wife who was on her way home from work. After removing the still hot cookies from the oven he proceeds to pop one directly into his mouth and chew. There was that moment of pure bliss that one gets when you bite into a warm cookie, but it was quickly followed by a blood curdling yell as 300 some odd degree molten chocolate hit his tongue turning his mouth into a mini [tag]Pompeii.[/tag]

In a blind agony he dropped the pan of cookies onto the floor and ran directly to his freezer to threw to door open and look for something to end the burning in his mouth.

*POP*

He popped in the first thing he saw. An aluminum butt-plug that he had recently turned and polished on his lathe and was in the freezer to cool. to give this next part weight, you have to have seen the movie “A [tag]Christmas[/tag] Story.” Cold aluminum sticks to bare moist skin, especially tongues.
And so the comedy begins. This is the exact moment his wife walks into her kitchen to see cookies all over the floor, the freezer open and her husbands muffled cries, wild gestures, and well a [tag]butt-plug[/tag] in his mouth. In a stunning moment on compassion she did what most wives would have done and yanked the plug and most of his tongue out, before kissing him on the forehead and calling him a dumb ass.